Super! ...bowl

The Super Bowl is coming up, and I can't wait to not care less. Call me cynical, but I'm a Packers fan, so figure out where the source of my frustration comes from.

It's a time when we order an overabundance of food, plop down on our butts, and let the good times roll. If we, as an American people, were really concerned with time management, the NFL would make the Super Bowl on Thanksgiving. Because then, it isn't a feigned over-night interest in football. No, it's MULTI-TASKING! It's a pure family oriented evening.

Every Super Bowl, you essentially have 3 groups. And for a successful, true Super Bowl experience to take place, you cannot mix these groups.

The first group are the true football fans. They watch many games, big or small. They check stats on ESPN, watch the draft, read up on scouting reports. In essence, they are true blue football fans.

The next group are the feigns. They're the ones who don't watch the Super Bowl for the game, but love to tell everyone that they are. They're the ones who learn the key players names and numbers the night before the game, and pretend to semi-know about the teams that are playing. But in reality, it's only some BS posturing method to make other people think they're actually interested.

The last group, which I am proud to be apart of, is the "who gives a crap"s. We contribute the cynical but realistic view that the Super Bowl is nothing but an indication of how far gone we as a people are. We don't particularly care about the game, and we'll let you know that, and we'll chastise anyone we think is apart of the "feigns".

Think about it. People commit an entire day to the Super Bowl, in which the game in question is merely fractional to the amount of on-air broadcasting is used for it. What's worse, you have people who openly admidt that they don't watch the Super Bowl for the game, but they watch it for the commercials!

Are they insane? We, the TiVo generation of history, are willingly sitting through the "grueling mundanity" of the football game to get to the commercials, the time of any regular television program that we have historically wished to fast forward and avoid. And we wonder why advertisers and marketing firms believe that the average American consumer will buy whatever they parade in their faces?

So Super Bowl gatherings beware. Mixing groups may result in sarcastic remarks and food grubbing from all factions. And I wonder why I'm never invited to these parties.